Wednesday, September 30, 2009


As much as I love the Biggest Loser, its terrible for my self esteem, yet inspiring all at the same time. I mean good lord these folks are running around losing 30-40 lbs in two weeks!!! I'm just trying to lose that much in 2 months! However, I do love the fact that it motivates me to get my ass in the gym and push through a work out. I think of it this way, if these people can go from off the couch at 400lbs there's no reason why I cant get my butt up and do an hour on the treadmill!
Speaking of gyms, I weighed myself yesterday and my starting weight is 177. Ugh!!! I hate the fact that I gain weight so quickly!!! I also lose it relatively quickly once my body realizes that I've regained my sanity so I suppose that its not all bad. I just hate that I let myself gain 17lbs in such a short time!!! Damn you Indian food, alcohol, and big big ass burritos!! I'm honestly not even worried or focused on that because its a starting point, everybody has to begin or rebegin somewhere right?! What is most important is the focus upon the end result.
So, my new goal in raw life is to figure out how to make amazing raw ice cream sandwiches without an ice cream maker. I know how to make banana ice cream, but that's a whole different situation. I think I want to have a raw dessert party soon!
On another completely random note I really need to stop playing around when it comes to school!!! I cant seem to bring myself to actually focus on by reading for longer than five minutes. Its driving me crazy! Especially since I have two papers and a research paper proposal due. For a Libra I am extremely unbalanced. I feel as though the more I'm beginning to grow emotionally and spiritually, and the more disciplined I become in regards to my health... the more I'm slacking in school... Now let me make myself clear, when I say slacking, I'm getting the work done.. kinda, but its about the same amount of me getting stuff done as it was in undergrad... I still dont understand how my GPA was as good as it was then. However, I want to hold myself to a higher standard, but at the moment my head just isn't in it. I know that a lot of it is because I went in expecting San Francisco State and got SUNY.. which of course logically makes sense. Every department is different. I guess I never realized how much of a believer in Afrocentrism I am until it was missing, completely from the curriculum!... ok let me not say completely, I may be wrong its only been five weeks. I just need to get over myself and begin to dig deeper so that I can get my school work done and make time to do my own research and study things that I can relate to.... its all about organization.

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